Thinking.......

Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life. Things I need: to do, work on, move past, pray about, etc. I know I have said before I wanted this blog to be about everything and not just the great aspects of my life. And believe me there are a ton of GREAT aspects to my life. I have a wonderful family, great group of friends, reliable job (which is rare these days), roof over my head and food in my pantry.....what more could a girl want? So here goes a little bit about everything.

I was reading a blog today that really made me think. I take life for granted way to often. I spend so much time worrying about things I can't control and things I should have done. I should spend more time in the moment instead of worrying about the moment.  No one is guaranteed tomorrow. Yes, i've thought about this before but reading this blog about someone I know and her pregnancy complications just gets me thinking. I should spend more time playing that little farm game Grant likes instead of cleaning the house. I should hold Bryce and cuddle more instead of playing on the computer or whatever it is that is keeping me from that extra time with him. I should also make more time with the hubby. Life in our marriage is just as precious and not guaranteed.

Most importantly, I think I need to spend more time with my lord. Our family is a church going family. I volunteer at our church and we read Bible stories to Grant. I pray and thank the Lord for the blessing I have in my life. However,  I do believe that I need work on my relationship with the Lord. I think I need to make time to read my Bible. A few weeks ago, Andrew came home from work and mentioned us starting a Bible study together. I thought it was a very good idea. I was actually a little surprised this was something he wanted to do. But of course, we got busy and haven't started it yet. Maybe it is the Devil working on us. This is something that has been laid on my heart but once again overlooked. I was not brought up in church and talking openly about the Lord outside of church is still hard for me. Some of you may not understand that, but it is another thing I need to work on. I know in my heart where I am in my walk and where I would like to be. I also know that I am a sinner and will continue to be a sinner throughout this process. I have hope that this journey will improve my parenting, my marriage, and my friendships. I know putting the Lord first is important and I struggle with it most days. I know I will not always understand why things happen but that my Lord has a greater plan, far better then any plan of mine.

Just some sentences

This past weekend Grant wasn't feeling to well. Actually he was feeling fine but everytime he ate his stomach did not agree with him. Let just say momma had to clean up a huge mess in the bathroom floor over the weekend. Oh the joys of being a mom......Actually there are a ton of joys about being a mom. For instance, this morning on the ride to drop the boys off Grant wanted to hold my hand. So yes I drove with one hand because the other was holding my son's. Probably not the safest thing to do but it was so worth it. Who knows when he will want to hold my hand again. Yes I hold his hand when we walk through parking lots but I mean when he will ask to hold my hand because he loves me. That boy sure does know how to melt my heart.

This weekend we watched a funny movie The Change Up. It was about a man who is married with children and one of his friends who is a bachelor changing bodies for a while. I know it sounds wierd but it was funny (aside from some fool language). Both learn how the other ones life isn't perfect. Of course in the end they wanted to be themselves again and learned a valuable lesson. I think a lot of people could learn that lesson.  It is easy to see other peoples lives and think:  how perfect they seem, how much money they have, or what a nice car & job they have. The truth is we don't know what kind of troubles they have with their spouse, children, friends or money.  I am not trying to lecture anyone. I actually need to hear this myself sometimes. I am only human and I get caught up in struggles of my own. When I sit back and look at the big picture I realize I have everything I need... my family, my friends, my faith, and a roof over my head and food on the table. I might not be the richest, smartest, or prettiest woman out there but I have a great life full of wonderful people.

Speaking of wonderful people I'm going tomorrow night to see The Lucky One and eat mexican with some women from work. It is so nice to have people that I really consider my friends and not just coworkers. I am excited about some girl time. I love my boys but sometimes I wish there were other girls in our household. Maybe oneday I can have a little girl...... hint hint Andrew.

Struggles

I think that sometimes when people blog or post things about their life and/or family on Facebook they post only the good. I think people want their life to appear great and don't want others to know about their struggles. With that being said, I plan on showing both the good and not so good sides of our lives in this blog.  Recently one of my biggest struggles is Want Vs Need. I'm sure everyone deals with this to some degree. Here are a few of the specific things i'm dealing with:

NEW COOK TOP- Do I want one? Yes. Do we need one? Depends....ours is twenty years old, not all the eyes work, and it doesn't match the other appliances. But does it work enough to cook our food? Yes. So do I need the new cook top just b/c ours is old and doesn't fully work or is it a want b/c  it works enough to get the job done.

UPDATING THE HOUSE- Do I want to do projects around the house to make it nicer? Yes. Do I need to do these projects? No. Our house is twenty plus years old. The foundation and bones of the house are great. The cabinets, counter tops, appliances, and so on could definitely use some updating. I'm constantly thinking of little things I can do or buy to make it feel more homey or fit my taste better.

NEW CLOTHES- Do I want new clothes? Of course. Do I need new clothes? Depends.....most of the ones I have don't fit. I lost most of my baby weight or at least it shifted so that only some of my clothes fit. Does that mean I need to buy more? Technically I have clothes that I can wear even though I don't like them anymore or they don't fit how I want them to. But I would love to have some cute new work clothes or clothes for our family beach trip in May.

EATING OUT- Do I want to eat out every Thursday? Yes. I thoroughly enjoy my day off from cooking. Do we need to eat out? No. We have groceries at the house. I buy about two weeks worth the groceries at a time. I buy meals to cook and then extras like pizza rolls or chicken nuggets for nights when I don't really feel like cooking. So no we don't need to go out to eat. We need to save that money. But sometimes I let the thought creep into my head that its good for my sanity..... to not have to worry about whats for dinner or worry about cooking something that will please everyone.

There are several other things that I know are strictly wants yet I still  hope to get oneday....... Grant a trampoline for his birthday, a bigger vehicle to haul the family, and some bushes/ flowers for the yard. I realize for the most part the difference between my wants and my needs for our family. However it is still a hard struggle wanting to spend money we really don't have, on things we really don't need.